Networking Feels Weird. Here's Why That's Actually Normal (And What to Do About It)

Networking doesn’t have to feel fake, awkward, or transactional. Here’s how to approach it in a way that actually feels human.

If you cringe a little when someone tells you to "just network more," you're not alone. For a lot of job seekers, networking feels like cold-calling strangers to beg for a job, and that's about as appealing as it sounds. But here's the thing: that's not what networking actually is.

Real networking is about conversations, curiosity, and building relationships before you need anything from anyone. It's a skill, and like any skill, it gets easier once you understand how it actually works.

I feel like networking is just asking people for jobs. Isn't it kind of pushy?

This is probably the most common misconception out there, and it stops a lot of people before they even start. Networking isn't about showing up with your hand out. It's about showing up with genuine curiosity.

When you reach out to someone in a field you're interested in, you're not asking them to hire you. You're asking them to share their experience, their perspective, and maybe a few minutes of their time.

That shift in framing changes everything. People are surprisingly willing to talk about their careers when they don't feel like they're being put on the spot, and those conversations often lead to referrals, introductions, and opportunities you never would've found on a job board.

I don't know where to start. How do I actually find people to connect with?

Start closer than you think. Your existing network is bigger than you're giving it credit for. Former classmates, colleagues from old jobs, people you've volunteered with, even neighbours who work in fields that interest you.

LinkedIn is a great tool for this because it lets you search by industry, company, and job title, and it shows you who you're already connected to.

From there, you can look at second-degree connections, people your contacts know, and ask for a warm introduction. You don't need a huge network to get started. You just need a few genuine connections and a willingness to grow from there.

What do I even say when I reach out to someone I don't know well?

Keep it short, keep it genuine, and make it easy for them to say yes. A good outreach message introduces who you are in one sentence, explains why you're reaching out (and it shouldn't be "I need a job"), and asks for something low-stakes, like a 20-minute phone call or a quick coffee chat.

Something like: "Hi, I'm transitioning into project management and came across your profile. I'd love to hear about your experience in the field, would you be open to a short call sometime?"

That's it. You're not asking them to review your resume or pull strings. You're asking them to share their story, and most people genuinely enjoy that.

I always feel like I have nothing to offer in return. Why would anyone want to talk to me?

You're thinking about this the wrong way. You don't need to offer anything in return for an informational conversation.

Experienced professionals remember what it was like to be where you are, and a lot of them genuinely want to help.

Beyond that, you bring your own perspective, your enthusiasm for the field, and sometimes connections of your own that could be valuable to them down the line.

I had a great conversation with someone. Now what? How do I follow up without being annoying?

Following up is where most people drop the ball, and it's actually the most important part. Send a thank-you message within 24 hours that references something specific from your conversation.

After that, you don't need to check in every week, but don't disappear either. Share an article they might find relevant, congratulate them on a work milestone you saw on LinkedIn, or circle back a few months later to update them on your progress.

What questions should I actually ask in an informational interview?

Come prepared with five or six questions, but don't treat it like an interrogation. Good questions are ones you're genuinely curious about: How did they get into their current role? What does a typical week look like for them? What skills do they think are most valuable in their field right now?

These open-ended questions invite real conversation rather than yes-or-no answers, and they give you insights you won't find in a job posting.

I'm an introvert. Is networking even realistic for me?

Absolutely, and honestly, introverts can be exceptional networkers. Meaningful networking happens one-on-one, over coffee, over the phone, through a thoughtful LinkedIn message.

Introverts tend to be great listeners and ask better questions, which makes people feel genuinely heard.

Is Job Skills able to help me with networking if I don't know where to start?

Yes, and that's actually one of the things Job Skills does really well. Job Skills is a nonprofit employment and training organization that's been helping job seekers across York Region, Peel Region, and the broader GTA for nearly 40 years.

Whether you're brand new to the job market, returning after a career gap, or making a complete pivot, their Employment Services team can help you build confidence, develop your networking approach, and connect you with employer networks you might not have access to on your own.

They've got eight locations across the region and a full range of programs designed to meet you wherever you are in your job search. You don't have to figure this out alone.

How do I network online without it feeling hollow or performative?

The key is to engage like a human, not a brand. On LinkedIn, that means commenting on posts with something genuinely thoughtful rather than just "Great post!"

Online networking works best when it mirrors what good in-person networking looks like: authentic curiosity, real conversation, and a willingness to give before you ask.

What if I reach out and nobody responds? How do I not take it personally?

You're going to get ignored sometimes, and it genuinely isn't personal. People are busy, messages get buried, and a lot of professionals have their inbox on mute.

A non-response says nothing about your worth as a candidate or a person. Cast a wide enough net and stay consistent enough, and you'll find people who are happy to connect.

The discomfort you feel around networking isn't a sign that you're doing something wrong. It's a sign that you're doing something new.